Monthly Archives: July 2012

Kylee’s Broken Heart

When I was nine or ten I read the James Harriot books. Remember those? All Creatures Great and Small? All Things Bright and Beautiful? He was a fabulous story-teller. I knew that I wanted to grow up and be and writer and a vet just like him.

Fast forward thirty something years later and I’m only a writer. Not a vet.  Because (besides being seriously allergic to math)  I found out you can’t actually save all the animals–that no matter how much knowledge, training, or passion you have–as a vet you have to deal with loss. You have to watch people say goodbye to their pets. And that would  break my heart.

So, I told you all that to say that today I’m able to use my writing to help save someone’s pet, which is the best of both worlds for me.

Her name is Kylee. She’s an eight month old mastiff puppy born with a heart defect. Eight months is just not enough time for this sweet girl to spend on this earth with the people who love her. She needs a life-saving operation. I know we can’t save them all but this girl’s mom, Ro Lewis,  is part of the mastiff community that I belong to and she does so much for others, I wanted to find a way to help. So this is personal.

Here’s the part where my writing comes in. I’m giving a copy of Karma’s A Bitch (A Pet Psychic Detective) to everyone who contributes to Kylee’s chip-in page.

You can give a dollar. Five. Fifty. Whatever you can afford because every little bit helps! Then Ro will send me your email address so I can send you the book. Easy! You get to help save a life and get a free book. What could be better than that? And your dog will love to read it, too just ask my friend Morgan:

 

“I hope to make people realize how totally helpless animals are, how dependent on us, trusting as a child must that we will be kind and take care of their needs.” -James Harriot

Magic Mike, Pizza & Deceit

Imagine you are in the mood for a cheese pizza with a light pineapple topping.

You squeeze a  grocery store stop into your busy day just to grab said pizza. You invite your friends over to share it, preheat the oven, rub your hands together with glee as you rip open the box. And then you stare at the pizza in dismay.

Confused, you flip the box over and check the picture again. Yep. Plain old cheese pizza with a few pineapples stare back innocently from the cardboard. You blink. Shove the pizza back in the box and then pull it out again. Blink. Then you get mad. You feel betrayed. Lied to. Because there…in the midst of frozen cheese and a few shriveled up wanna be pieces of pineapple are…anchovies! And mushrooms! And some kind of green slimy thing that nauseates you.

You have to apologize to your friends, mumble something about someone else picking out the pizza next time and go to bed hungry and angry at the lie on the front of the pizza box.

This was my Magic Mike experience and I left the movie depressed and in need of a shower. I call it bait and switch. Anyone who’s seen the previews expects a fun, shallow movie with a splash of romance that you can unwind and giggle with your girlfriends about. In reality, it was about the sleazy, seedy lifestyle of male strippers, complete with drug abuse, drug dealing, skanky sex…oh, and  a pot-belly pig licking up vomit.

I know. Nauseating.

As a writer, I know a book’s cover tells the reader what to expect from the book. You know if the story inside is a mystery, sci-fi, literary, romance or erotica by how it’s packaged and marketed. This movie was like picking up a book with a romance cover and falling into gritty, urban street fiction. I won’t even mention the romance part except to say it didn’t work. At all.

Now, I’m sure Mr. Soderbergh didn’t intend to deceive us. He probably considers himself an artist and didn’t want to just make a movie about  Channing Tatum dancing  for an hour and a half.  But, honestly, I would have preferred this because for me, the ten minutes of Tatum’s moves were the only redeeming factor in this movie.

If you’ve already seen this movie, what did you think? Were you disappointed? Disgusted? Am I being too sensitive? Or did I just make you hungry for pizza? Inquiry minds wanna know!